Dear Stupid Idiots

So I met this guy once, total fucking jackass - beat up cats, slapped around gerbils, that kind of bullshit. So, this guy I'm talking about, he was the kind of guy everyone loved to hate. I thought I might be able to fine, you know, like a nice side to him, but -obviously- I never did. So, I'm going to tell you about my trip to Canada to meet this crazy like guy.

I never found anything nice about him, but I did find out he was more fucked up than anyone could imagine. He was so mother-fucking schizophrenic that it wasn't even close to funny.

"Hey, Robert!" Jerry shouted at me, smiling slightly as he scratched his forehead of sweat-beads. "How're you doing? It's so fucking great to see you. Why're you here?" His words spewed out at me like lava shooting from a volcano onto an unsuspecting city.

"Meh, s'all right... Y'know?" I spewed right back at him, in a strange competition of conversation, "Yes, it's been what? Twenty-Five years, eh? Yeah, I'm down here to see Jimmy "Jackass" Johnston."

"He doesn't live here, he lives in British Columbia. Great White North, y'knoo eh?" He lets a laugh escape his pink lips and begins back to his till.

"You're joking right? You'd better be fucking joking."

So I got onto a plane to Canada and went to sleep. I woke up in the city of Victoria, British Columbia. I stepped off the small airplane and onto the tarmac. The light shimmered up off the runway and into my eyes, making me partially until I found the confines of the airport. 

"Nope, sorry. Vancouver," the operator shot at me.

[ Continue ]

written by Mikeal Curves (Curvez) 2002