The Continuing Adventures of Mssr Edward Shaw

Edward Shaw had never been a tall man, in fact, when all was said and done, Edward Shaw was pretty short. At five foot six, seven on a good day or even eight with the right pair of shoes he tended to stick out in a crowd. It wasn't so much his physical presence, but rather the gap that seemed to hang around where someone should be. There have been several famous short people throughout history, possibly most notably Napoleon Bonaparte, and all of them seemed to have a complex about their height, feeling the need to take it out on the rest of Europe, if not the entire world. Shaw was not one of these people, he had no desire to conquer the world, well not truly any way. Admittedly, on occasion he did have cause to stop and consider the possibilities, anything was possible after all, but in essence, he didn't like to do more than was necessary, and conquering something as big as the entire world seemed like it would be a great deal of trouble, and possibly, not really worth the effort. It had occurred to him once or twice that he wasn't entirely sane having such thoughts floating through his head, but the invisible demon fairy that sat on his shoulder always managed to bring him round.

Of course, right at that moment, world domination was quite far back on his list of priorities. Not as far back as swimming to the North Pole of course, but becoming the total ruler of everything he saw was certainly in the recesses of his mind. No, Edward was once more thinking about his height. The thought that dominated his logical processes was geared towards the fact that he was finding it very difficult to intimidate this guy, because it's very difficult to stare someone down if their eyes are somewhere at least a foot above your own. This was annoying to say the very least, bloody annoying if you want to go into more detail. If the giant Mexican didn't back off and go with his suggestion, things could get ugly. This guy was good, he'd concede that, he was making this pause seem to last an hour, however, he was just a rank amateur compared to the individual who Edward was blaming for this whole situation.  [ Continue ]

written by Paul Guess